Hey Harold - a few points (since you asked)

1) shouldn't you attribute 'gaping void' to the hierarchy lampoon?
2) on second thought, should you even use this cartoon? might be construed quite negatively if this piece is in fact a 'business case for social learning' ... ie. you might tick off the business with it
3) I might set the stage up front for the context of what is 'social learning' and come back with it at the end --- the oreo cookie approach --- the current version, for me anyway, lacks the context of 'why' and 'what is' social learning ... hence reinforcing it at the front and the back of the bit

otherwise, as usual, sage, wise, succinct and excellent